Lyrics

I wake up again,
Roll over,
Hear the rain patter,
Against the pane,
It’s so stupid,
Such an asinine game,
We play,
The things we do,
Harsh glare of the computer light,
Stare into my eyes,
As I work it over in my heart,
My Mind,
All the things I’ve done,
All the things I know I’m going to do.

I gain and lose my faith,
I can’t tell people that mean the most to me… most of the time,
How sometimes… I’m still scared,
‘Cause if I tell them how I really feel,
Well, they won’t understand,
Worse,
They might not care.

I spend more time,
In the dead of night,
Praying to you Lord,
Desperation is its own kind of faith,
So now I pray,
And ask,
Plead,
Can I get better?
Or at least not worse?

I know delusion,
What it looks like,
When it looks like… like me in a mirror,
I try to smile,
Stay focused on the silent sound,
As the wind whispers in the night,
Dark skies,

I keep making the best of this shitty place, shitty deal,
I just keep pretending it isn’t happening,
Isn’t real.

I watch the sun paint the morning crimson, blue, and white,
I see the dawn brighten across the sky,
Hear the sprinklers spray,
With dew formed on the grass and the sound of the raven’s cry,
I don’t get it,
I can’t understand why,
I keep trying,
But words are empty vessels we fill sometimes when we really just want to crawl inside,
Curl up.
Die.

Can it get better?
At least not worse?

I hate to make this about how I feel,
But who the fuck am I supposed to talk to?
What the fuck am I supposed to do?

Who the fuck am I supposed to talk to?

If it never a gets better?

I know it’ll never be the same,
Go back to the normal,
I keep repeating it like a mindless mantra,
Hoping,
It will get better,
Soon,
Can it get better?
Soon?

What am I supposed to do? do?
Can it get better soon?
What am I supposed to do?
It has too.

It has too.

I love you.

I love you.